For those of you who have a Kindle, just a reminder that you can preorder Silent Tears right now. Just click here!

….have I mentioned that I LOVE my Amazon Kindle? I’m not trying to be a commercial or anything, I just really like it, and I’m surprised about that because I am such a ‘real book’ lover. But there are times that I’d rather pick up my Kindle.

Here are a few reasons I LOVE my Kindle:

1. There are lots of FREE books on Kindle. Just about every week I download a free book or maybe one that cost 1 cent. Shh…don’t tell Amazon but most of my Kindle books are free ones..(Okay…now we ALL know I am a cheapskate)

2. Having the leather-bound Kindle in my purse is so convenient when I am sitting somewhere waiting; school pick-up line, doctor’s office, lunch break…(it also makes me look very smart because most people have no idea what sort of high tech gadget I am perusing, and they really respect the looks of it! And anything I can do to help squash the ‘blonde’ stereotype, I am all for..)

2. You can buy a book with one click. You can actually order it from your Kindle or do I like do and go to Amazon and search Kindle best sellers. One click and then turn the wireless switch on your Kindle and there it comes, instantly! When I was on vacation last year, it was so convenient to sit on the porch of the beach house and buy two new books without ever leaving the porch. (Seriously..last year in one week, I read about 6 books on my Kindle, from the front porch of a tiny house on the SC coast. It was awesome.)

3. You can access newspapers, magazines and blogs from your Kindle! Whoa..you can follow my blog on Kindle! Cool..

4. I have some issues with muscles, etc..and sometimes it’s nice to only have to lay my Kindle against a pillow and turn pages with one flick of a finger. So…yes…that means I’m lazy.

So–okay…my commercial is over but I really, really like my Kindle. A Lot.

UPDATE: The Winner of the Fancy Nancy Easter GiveAway is…..drumroll, please……Kelly with Truly Blessed! Please email me your address and who you want the envelope addressed to. (I know kids LOVE to get mail!)

So that I can get it to the winner in time for Easter, I am doing the Fancy Nancy giveAway now! The winner will receive the Fancy Nancy’s Elegant Easter Lift-The-Flap book and a Fancy Nancy A Flutter of Butterfulies Reusable Sticker book. To be entered into the drawing:

1. Post the link to my short story titled “The Bridge” [found here] on your blog, website, or facebook profile page

2. Become a Kay Bratt Fan by clicking Here

3. Come back to this blog post [located on my website NOT facebook post] and comment that you are a fan and you have posted The Bridge by kay Bratt.

Drawing for the Fancy Nancy books will be on Friday! Come back here to find out the winner!

From Julie:
We are soon all heading towards the dining room where we hear music and as I strain to see over the top of heads I see two of the girls who are about 10 or 11 dancing with the Red Cross support group. As the music stops, Katja and I are grabbed and persuaded to sing for the children: we do our rendition of ‘heads, shoulders, knees and toes’ along with the actions and then we join the support group and everyone else with the Chinese Happy New Year to You. It was wonderful, not a dry eye in the house, this is proving to be a very emotional day. No sooner had the music stopped and every one of the children are lining up for lunch. This is a very special lunch and one we can thank you our supporters for, as we, with your help have donated money for this special meal, which we all shared together as one very big happy family. After lunch it was time for MiFan MaMa to give red envelopes to the Mummies and Daddies on your behalf, what better way to let them know we really appreciate all they do on a daily basis for these children.

During all this time there wasn’t much time for game playing or painting with the children but the people from our bus were busy visiting those children that cannot get out of bed, those who stare at four walls and a ceiling all day and never complain. Thanks to King Koil these children are comfy in the mattresses they have especially made for them.

We then had a time of exploring and getting to know the children and where they live; a very precious time. These children have come to accept us as their family as have their Mummies and Daddies. Communication is always a small problem, just a feeling of small frustration on our part but love soon shows us there are no barriers – everyone wants a hug and very soon get it.

Everlasting friendships are forged, just as all from our bus will not forget these wonderful children; the children will never forget them and their love and kindness.

We all pose for photos – everyone wants to capture this very special moment.

The volunteer from the Red Cross tells Katja and myself about a family who are all very severely ill. We agree to supply food for this family as they have no money and their plight has already been shown on Chinese TV. (Roy has already investigated this, so we know there is a real need). We give the Red Cross Volunteer enough money to buy this family rice, flour and oil for 6 months. In addition we are able to give them a bag of rice, flour and a bottle of oil from Lao Wang’s supply. The man from the Red Cross asks that we deliver these items personally on the way home: he assures us it is on our way. So we agree and he joins us on our bus with 3 volunteers for our return journey.

All too soon it is time to say goodbye to everyone and lots of tears are shed on both sides. Although we will be back in one month and these children and everyone here has a place in our hearts it is still so sad. One of the Mummies is hugging me crying and thanking us for all we do. I tell her it is us who thank them as they are the ones who look after these children 24 hours a day, everyday. They are the one who teach these children love and caring by their example, how lucky these children are for although their possessions are few their hearts are bursting with LOVE and CARING and SHARING. We have the privilege to have been a part of this, to have experienced this, even if only for a short time.

Then we get on the bus some passengers are leaning out of the window sharing a last handshake with these wonderful people. Soon we are driving down the road, we wave, and they wave, and soon are just dots in the distance. The bus is silent: we have all had different experiences on this visit, each of us has our own treasured memories to take away until we visit the next time.

We now have the Red Cross volunteer and his helpers on the bus, but on further investigation we find it will take us an extra 5 hours to make this visit to this family. Unfortunately this is not possible, as lots of people on the bus must get to work the next day and even now we will not arrive home until 12.00 midnight. We agree to sort the Red Cross team out another car and further down the highway we stop and there is another car waiting, we all exchange hugs and greetings for this family, and then we part.

Update: And the WINNER is…..Leslee Dockery! Kimberley will be contacting you to arrange shipment of your bows!

The latest Kay Bratt GiveAway comes from Kimberley at Sophia Jane Boutique who has donated a bundle of bows to one lucky winner!

Hello everyone! My name is Kimberley Girvin and I make the hair bows at Sophia Jane Boutique. I am the mother of 3 boys and I waited over three years to bring my daughter Sophia home from China, who is my inspiration for all the fun, girly things I create. While I was waiting for Sophia, I learned to make hair bows from a dear friend and blogger Meredith Teagarden. She posted a wonderful tutorial on her blog that I printed off and then followed the steps to make a darling bow. As my wait continued, I just kept on making bows! Eventually, friends asked me to make them for their daughters and word of mouth spread and I decided to start the Sophia Jane Boutique. I have been having a wonderful time ever since.

Sophia is home now and she is just a dream come true for us. My husband used to tease me about what I would do with all of these hair bows if she was a tomboy. But thank goodness she loves them!

Kay says: To be entered into the drawing to win the bows shown, become a Fan of the Sophia Jane Boutique [click here] and then come back to this post and comment that you are a fan. The drawing for one winner will be Wednesday. Good luck and thank you, Kimberely, for your donation!

Two specific pages in the book were turned down and marked as special to me. The first brought me to shame for some of the early feelings I had while working in the orphanage, when I would hold a beautiful child and feel a rush of anger at his/her parents. Being knew to the country and not really knowing much of the hardships endured, in my naivete I believed that the parents must not have cared for their child. Here are Lisa See’s words that brought me to tears:

Then we waited. Uncle sat on a stool by the table and wept so hard into her tunic that stains spread across the fabric like rain clouds. Baba tried to comfort Uncle, but what was the use? He could not be comforted. Anyone who tells you that the Yao people never care for their daughters is lying. we may be worthless. We may be raised for another family. But often we are loved and cherished, despite our natal families’ best efforts not to have feelings for us. Why else in our secret writing do you see phrases lke “I was a pearl in my father’s palm” so frequently?

The second excerpt brought back a flood of memories to me. First read Lisa’s words and then go back and remember with me.

“Lady Lu, a cure is not possible,” he said. “All you can do now is wait for the onset of death. You can see it already in the purple tint of her flesh just above her bindings. First, her ankles; then the legs will come next, swelling and turning the skin purple as her life force slows. Soon, I suspect, her breathing will change. You’ll recongnize it. An inhale, and exhale, then nothing. Just when you think she is gone she will take another breath.”

That passage instantly took me back to the day I stood in front of a crib of a dying child. Her eyes were already checked out, she was not able to focus on anything but her pain. Knowing she was too sick for me to hold, I gently rubbed her back and whispered encouragement to her. As I peeked under her coverlet, the purplish/black color of her feet, ankles and legs sent shivers of shock down my spine. At that time, I did not understand that it was the onset of death. When she disappeared a day or so later and no one would tell me where she was, I knew then that she had passed on. It feels strange for me to say this, because not many people would understand, but I was thankful for her release from her circumstances–from her relentless pain.

Why would I enjoy a book that brings back such sad memories for me? Perhaps because if the memories still linger, that means I won’t forget the children and my promise to continue to tell their stories.

And the WINNER is….Chris Mathison! Congrats and please use the Contact tab to email me so that I can connect you with Kristen to get you started.

Mama, why do I look different than you? When that question finally rolls off of your child’s tongue, a lifebook will help you to tell the story in a way that will show your child how your life together came to be. The lifebook is the story of your child’s life from birth – and is a beautiful keepsake and such a great resource for handling important conversations about adoption and birth parents.

My Story Lifebooks is a lifebook creation service started by an adoptive mom to a daughter from China. Kristen created a lifebook for her daughter using Shutterfly and was very happy with the results. Soon she found herself helping other parents with lifebooks for their children, and that’s how My Story Lifebooks began.

The template option is economical and so easy. A Shutterfly Lifebook Photobook template is emailed to you, and you save it to your own Shutterfly account. It is a photo book that is already set up as a lifebook – you just fill in your child’s information, add photos, save your photo book and order it on your own through Shutterfly.You can change the color schemes, layouts, and backgrounds to really personalize it for your child. With the template guiding you, it makes it so easy to get complete. The best news is the template option also includes technical support from Kristen, if needed. Her goal is to help you complete your chid’s lifebook as quickly as possible so that you can start sharing it with them. You can check out more details at the My Story Lifebooks website:

Are you adoptive parent? Have you been meaning to create a lifebook for your child? If so, this giveaway is for you! Kristen has agreed to donate one lifebook template AND a $30 Shutterfly Gift Certificate so the winner can complete a lifebook!

To enter: Become a Facebook Fan of Kay Bratt (click here) AND Become a Facebook Fan of My Story Lifebooks (click here)

Once you are a fan of both pages, come back to this post and comment, “I’m a Fan” and your name will be added to the drawing to be held on Friday, February 19.

And if you don’t win, please consider creating your child’s lifebook through My Story Lifebooks and supporting another IA family!

[Additional note from Kristen to you: I'd like to let people know that if they have an adopted child - from the US or any other country - go ahead & enter the giveaway. I will work with you to customize the template for your child, and add all the details specific to that country/adoption. You might just have to help me a bit by providing information about the process - city traveled to, etc. But I would be happy to do it!]

*disclaimer* Kay Bratt has not been paid by either Shutterfly or My Story Lifebooks, the GiveAway is done to assist members of the IA community.

Jen has agreed to donate one of her most popular dresses to a Kay Bratt GiveAway! The dress will be custom made to your specific size requirement (up to a girl’s Size 8). All you have to do to get in the drawing for this Pagoda Dress is two things: First leave a comment on this post here at my website, then follow the link to Jen’s blog here and leave a comment on one of the posts you think is the cutest. Come back here Sunday night to find out who the winner is. (Randomly drawn from those who participated)

And please visit the website of Fly Away Clothing and support another IA family member by making a purchase that is sure to make your little one smile!

AND THE WINNER IS……. KAREN HERMAN!! Please use the Contact form to email me and I will connect you with Jen to discuss dress details)

The tradition of foot-binding has always puzzled me. In this book, I finally understand it a little more.

Here is a favorite excerpt:
My bound feet were extremely beautiful–my best feature–and I took great pride in them. Ordinarily I paid strict attention to Willow’s ministration, making sure that my deep crease was fully cleaned, calluses cut down, and my nails kept as short as possible. ……A woman’s feet were her greatest mystery and gift. If some miracle happened and I married my stranger, I would care for them in secret, powdering them to accentuate their odor, and rewrapping them tightly so they would appear as small and delicate as possible.

If you want to cry, laugh and celebrate with Peony, you can buy the book here:

Later I noticed other actions that proved the children were unaccustomed to human interaction or consolation. The way a child would rock back and forth endlessly, or how they would be completely engrossed in the ragged strings that tied their bedding to the rails. Some would just lay there motionless, even when we’d attempt to interact with them—or they’d flinch if we tried to touch them.

Xiao Gou, my little heart who I became attached to, would come to our house for visits and one day I thought to give her a pen and paper. She sat for over an hour drawing the same tiny little circles all over her paper, over and over—almost as if she was in a trance. Later when she began to emerge from her shell, she graduated to writing Chinese characters of different words and little stick figures, but that original piece of paper was like a knife in my heart.

The many techniques children develop for their own self-preservation is interesting. However, what is amazing is how the children changed after they were introduced to a different form of human interaction than what they were accustomed to. Small gestures of affection like a touch on a cheek or the stroking of their hair were quickly something that they craved more of, once they experienced it. I still remember how little Jia Jia would pull my hand to her face and just hold it there quietly, as if she was drawing strength from my body to hers with that sweet gesture. It was enough for her to have that small touch, she didn’t ask for more.

For me as a volunteer who was only there a small part of their monotonous days, I struggled with the gift we were giving them opposed to taking it away for hours on end. Was it better for them to not know what they were missing? Or were our pitiful attempts of love what kept many of them going in their survival mode? For many years I would go to bed and attempt to block out visuals of the children performing their unique self-soothing actions, just so that I could continue on in my mission of trying to make a difference one child at a time.

So many people say to me, “I don’t see how you did it day after day. I just couldn’t do it.”

What I want to say in return is, “How could I not?”