This year is held above others and the people celebrate in a huge way that it has come around again. We can help make this one of the best years ever for the children in China.

Recently I met a woman online who is coordinating amazing things for China’s children. At Grace and Hope organization and to help children with special needs, offering therapy, equipment & support for mothers fostering these kids.

Linda Anne Greenshields also told me about another program they coordinate called Hope 4 China’s children. Please take a look at their blog!

If you are looking for a child to sponsor this year, there are some beautiful faces waiting for you at this link. For only $39 a month, you can help get a child prepared for foster care and be a part of their ongoing life by receiving reports and updates. Another part of that project is raising funds to help mothers who would otherwise be forced to give up their child. They currently work with 4 mothers who refused to abandon their SN kids, some despite being thrown out of their homes. You can see those couragous moms here!

Most of you know that I have been working behind the scenes for years to free Xiao Gou from her life sentence behind the cold walls of the orphanage.

Well, she was transferred from the orphanage that I knew her in to a very poor, isolated orphanage very far away. After some sleuth work and endless emails, inquiries, phone calls and prayers, we found her. However, this post isn’t about her–instead it is about meeting a silly, hilarous, happy little girl named Fu Ji

When I visited Xiao Gou last October, we were honored to meet her roomie. An adorable little girl about age 5 that was full of song and laughter, who when it was time for Amanda and I to leave, pleaded with us to “Hui Lai, hui lai..” [come back, come back] I can’t even find the words to describe how amazing her spirit was and how her disability didn’t seem to bother her. When I asked about her condition, I was told she was very fragile and could never go to school or even walk. That concerned me and if any of you know me by now– you know it was not to be the end of it for me.

Fast forward to a few months later and a man contacted me who had read my book. His name is Lou and he is a Chinese/American who lives in Texas. He wanted to know if I knew of other orphanages that could use his help. Lou is a very interesting man. He was born in China but came to the states many, many years ago. He never forgot his heritage and using his hard-earned financial means, he goes back to China often to do humanitarian projects; mostly in the Tibetan mountains for the really needy villages.

I told him about Xiao Gou and he and I have joined together to continue fighting for her rights. He went to personally meet her several weeks ago and I asked him to check on Fu Ji while he was there. It was my hope that he could get a better translation on what her actual disability is and what her prognosis is.

Lou came back with a report on Xiao Gou’s status, of which I still cannot discuss publicly, (But we are working on it!) and also was quite captivated by Fu Ji, just as we were.

Together we both tried to think of a way to help her. I remembered that I had once made the contact of an American doctor who came to operate on Xiao Gou while she was in China. Later, he was the doctor in America who did more for Xiao Gou when she came over to be fitted for her leg. I emailed him and told him about Fu Ji and asked his advice.

Coincidentally, when I discovered where Xiao Gou was last year, I had contacted him and he went to see her at her current orphanage to do a medical exam. While there, he got medical reports on many of the children. He looked through his files and located Fu Ji’s documents.

To make a long story short, Lou will be traveling back to China in May to again check on Xiao Gou, and the doctor will already be there with a foundation group to do some medical outreach in another region of China. The doctor has graciously offered to travel back to the SWI where Xiao Gou and Fu Ji live to meet Lou and examine both girls, and see if it is possible to set up a medical plan for Fu Ji.

Two little girls who would have never met if not for one fateful car accident several years ago. Without Xiao Gou coming to room with Fu Ji, who knows what heartbreak her future would hold. 

As for me, it is just a miracle and a blessing to me that I am still able to find a way to make a difference from the laptop located on my table in my cozy kitchen in the beautiful countryside of Georgia, USA. And admittedly, I am really nothing but the simple conduit that brings remarkable people together who use their gifts to help children. And a huge thank you to the Children of China Pediatrics Foundation. They have already done so much for Xiao Gou and other children in China.

Recently I traveled to find Xiao Gou and re-confirm my intent to continue advocating for her. She is living in an orphanage that is much poorer than the one she originally landed in. I was told they receive no foreign assistance, which was evident by their frugal surroundings.

This year I would love to make the Chinese New Year a little more exciting for Xiao Gou and her mates. If you would like to participate, please comment below. I have a list of 22 children, 5 ayis, 2 male staff and 5 women staff. If you would like to contribute a CNY box of love, it would be a compassionate gesture for us to reach out, and to teach our children to support those who need it.

Some of their disabilities didn’t quite make translation but below is the list. I will give them names to make it easier to choose who you want to support:

Send a small box of love and $10 for shipping.

I will give you the address to send to me when you commit, then I’ll box them all together.

*Updated*

1. Xiao Gou sponsored by Kay Bratt (of course..lol)

2. Girl, 6 months old, waist problem: Annie sponsored by Jennifer S.

3. Boy, 6 months old, cleft lip: Josh sponsored by Heather V.

4. Girl, 2 months old, deaf in right ear: Sue sponsored by Patricia C.

5. Boy, 6 years old, Cerebral Palsy: Willie sponsored by Debbi L.

6. Boy, 7 years old, Cerebral Palsy: Michael sponsored by Diane C.

7. Girl, 16 years old, Cerebral Palsy: Alisha sponsored by Doyna U.

8. Girl, 6 months old, post polio syndrome: Sugar sponsored by Holly C.

9. Boy, 15 years old, mentally challenged: Liam sponsored by Elise G.

10. Boy, 17 years old, mentally challenged/post polio syndrome: Ryan sponsored by Stacy T.

11. Boy, 18 years old, mentally challenged: JJ sponsored by Marr C.

12. Boy, 17 years old, Blind: Tiger sponsored by Staci W.

13. Boy, 7 years old, left arm disabled: Will sponsored by Diane C.

14. Boy, 10 years old, hand and leg disabled: Justin sponsored by Shannon M.

15. Girl, 6 years old, fragile bone disease: Fu Ji sponsored by Michelle C.

16. Boy, 17 years old, Cleft lip: TJ sponsored by Sherri M.

17. Boy, 16 years old, Cleft lip: Corey sponsored by Stacey T.

18. Boy, 6 months old, left hand disabled: Elijah sponsored by Sheri Q.

19. Boy, 14 years old, mentally challenged: Richard sponsored by Catherine R.

20. Boy, 7 years old, anal atresia: Joey sponsored by Lynn S.

21. Boy, 5 years old, mentally challenged: Kevin sponsored by Roy C.

22. Girl, 15 years old, Blind: Lily sponsored by Lisa L.

The boxes should be packed with ‘light-weight’ items. Here are some ideas:  stuffed toy or doll, Candy, gloves, toothbrush, paste, comb/brush, yo-yo, toys cars, puzzles, chapstick. Of course, it depends on the disability. I also need adult boxes for the staff and one thing they could use is the gloves with finger cutouts– the SWI is frigid this time of year but they still have to do paper administration.

Thank you for continuing to support the Mei Mei Club with endeavors to assist China’s orphaned children.

Deadline for packages is Saturday, January 8.

I met Xiao Gou in the children’s hospital where she had spent over a year recuperating in the Intensive Care unit.  Elizabeth, a fellow volunteer, and I were there visiting a child who we had sponsored for heart surgery. Across the room we spotted the 4-year-old child sitting on the nurse’s desk, coloring a picture. As we began to interact with her, the nurse returned with some chicken feet for Xiao Gou to nibble on. It was obvious that the nurses had quite a fondness for the tiny girl and she for them. We could immediately understand why, as Xiao Gou began to enamor us with her sassy sense of humor and her intelligence. She was able to name colors and despite probably never having any contact with foreigners, she was very open and engaging with us.  We both wanted to know more about her and the circumstances that had brought her there.

 Through our mangled attempts at Mandarin, we were able to extract some information about her. We learned that she had been brought to the hospital by her parents after she was hit by a car. The doctors did not expect her to make it through the surgery but they worked on her anyway, amputating her leg all the way up past her buttocks.  While Xiao Gou recovered, her parents desperately worked to raise the funds needed to pay her mounting hospital bills. Her mother even appeared on a local television news piece, pleading for assistance to help her daughter.  As we left the hospital that day, I felt a sense of sadness yet relief that she at least had her parents to help her through the tragedy and her recovery.

Weeks later, we returned to the hospital intensive care unit and were surprised to find Xiao Gou’s bed empty. We asked if she had been discharged and were shocked when the nurse explained to us that Xiao Gou had been abandoned by her parents and turned over to the orphanage.

“What orphanage?” I asked? I could hardly believe the dramatic turn her life had taken.  We were told it was the orphanage that we worked in and I asked the nurse to write down Xiao Gou’s name in Chinese characters so that I could ask the director about her.

The next day with paper in hand, I skipped my usual route to the infant room and went straight to the director’s office. I showed her the name and asked her if that child was living there. She confirmed that Xiao Gou was indeed now living in the institute but her name had been changed to Sheng Rui. [When pronounced sounded similar to Sun Ray so we began to refer to her as Sunshine.] I asked to see her and though reluctant, the director led me to the one room I hoped she would not be in.

The room housed severely developmentally and mentally delayed children. In the cold, barren room were children with Down’s syndrome, dwarfism, mental retardation and other disabilities. Also residing there were mildly physically disabled children who appeared to be mentally ill but I believed had simply retreated into a shell of self-preservation in order to cope with their circumstances. The children lived in the room twenty-four hours a day with no creative or interactive diversions to engage their interest. I was disgusted to find that once again, the ancient Chinese stigma of not being outwardly perfect had resulted in Sheng Rui being sentenced to life with no parole behind the walls of injustice. 

When we arrived at the room, I could not find her tiny face in the rows of children sitting on their wooden chairs. I was distracted by the utter desperation I sensed, the repetitive rocking of some children, the staring eyes, and the sparse surroundings devoid of color and life. Director Yao pointed Sheng Rui  out to me and I was outraged by her appearance. Sheng Rui’s hair had been chopped off as short as possible and all of her sassiness and personality we had once witnessed was absent. If not for recognizing her amputated leg, I would have passed her by without recognition.

I bent down in front of Sheng Rui and attempted to interact with her. She finally lifted her head and met my eyes, showing me the absolute sorrow there that I had not seen at our last meeting. In those beautiful, dark eyes I saw there was no doubt her spirit had been crushed. I wondered what sort of abuse she had already encountered from those bigger than she in that area that reeked with a pervasive cloud of madness.

Feeling the mother lion inside me come alive, I demanded to know why Sheng Rui was not in the downstairs rooms with the other children. The director was speechless as I began ranting to her that Sheng Rui was a very intelligent little girl. We debated back and forth about her while she listened intently and by the time we left the room, I had a promise from the director that Sheng Rui would be moved downstairs and be allowed to attend the orphanage school.

There is no other way to describe what happened in those moments; other than to say that our hearts connected in a way that happens when your infant child is placed on your chest that first moment you meet. I hadn’t known her long—but I loved her. Instantly.

Sheng Rui once again became Xiao Gou and I became her biggest advocate.  Xiao Gou visited my home many times and the other children at the orphanage would tell her, “Here comes your mama” when they’d see me come through the gates. I advocated for her surgeries and most of all for her to be treated with dignity and respect. With someone to shower her with attention and concern, Xiao Gou’s sassy personality once again surfaced and she was such a joy. The day came when I had to leave China and I was too heartbroken about ending our relationship to even tell her goodbye. I regret that decision and have vowed to continue to try to help her. I know she has gone through so much since I’ve left. The latest update is that her family finally came back for her and took her far away to their hometown. Unfortunately, that didn’t last and Xiao Gou was once again abandoned and now lives in another orphanage—one that is small and doesn’t have foreign volunteers or the benefit of donations to make is an easier place. I think of Xiao Gou constantly and the memories we made. But what about now? Who sees her? Who hears her voice and advocates for her right to dignity?

Together we can continue to help her.

You or your child can join the Mei Mei Club today. “Sisters Helping Sisters”

Most of all, I know this for sure—I don’t want to lose the passion I cultivated and I want to use my story to inspire that fire in others to advocate for children—any and all children, China and everywhere. I need to work harder to be an example to the children in my own family so that one day they might take over and do more for the disadvantaged than our generation did. This world should not be about who gets ahead, who has the nicest car or the biggest house—We shouldn’t obsess about what colleges our kids will go to or how successful they will be if we just push them a little harder or force them to join one more sport or club. Wouldn’t this world be a better place if we concentrated more on molding the younger generation to be more compassionate to those around them, to reach out to people in their lives and give a helping hand? What if we gave equal time to community outreach that we do to organized sports and activities? The important thing to remember is that when the children become adults and find their passion, they will find their peace.

A girl who has seen much more of the ugly world than she should have at the age of 13.

A girl who has a long road ahead to overcome the tragedies she has been forced to bear.

During the first five minutes of our conversation I thought what I had been told about her must be untrue, that the child who sat before me was not capable of her alleged actions and the smile that radiated across her face could not have hidden such anger and resentment at the world. When we began to talk and she started to unravel the story of her life to me, the flash of anger in her eyes did not go unnoticed—the wall of defensiveness around her was evident in the sudden tightness of her shoulders and the way she sat ready to pounce at any given moment. But still, the bits of the little girl she once was pulled me in and captivated me to believe that perhaps if I convinced her that I am on her side and will do what I can to help her, that she will be able to focus on a future that does not balance on a repetitive cycle of chaos and pain. After we got the ugly stuff out of the way and I assured her that I believed her and was outraged on her behalf, I guided her towards thoughts of ‘what can be’ instead of ‘what is.” We talked about her dreams and goals and I discovered she wants to be a nurse and desires to help people. Some might find that ironic, considering her history of lashing out at those around her, but I see her antics for what they are—a child screaming for someone to stand in her court and to believe her when she voices the crimes against her.

At our second meeting she was depressed and almost unreachable, but I knew somewhere underneath she was listening to me and waiting to see if I’d give up and walk away. I decided to avoid hard subjects and focus on putting her mind at ease. We talked—or at least I talked and she listened, with an emotionless expression on her face. But I continued to talk and told her about my morning with my cat who had gifted us with a baby rabbit and a baby mole at our doorstep that morning. Possibly a morbid story—but as I joked about my killer kitty’s adventures, the small smile I saw creeping across the face of the child before me was my reward. Just a few silly words but enough to pull her away from her dark world for a brief time before she shut me out again. As I said goodbye and reminded her that I’d be back to visit, I could see the doubt flicker across her face.

To learn more about the role of a CASA, see their website at www.casaforchildren.org

First of all, if you have not become my facebook friend, please do so now here. I frequently post needs on my profile page and give people the opportunity to discuss issues and lend a helping hand.

If you want to read more about what it is like for children in a Chinese orphanage, which is similar in many institutes all over the world in regards to neglect and abuse, please order my book, Silent Tears.

When people ask me what they can do, my heart jumps at the chance to ask them to consider sponsoring foster care for Chinese orphans. With my own eyes I saw the way a child would change once being a part of a foster family for a short time–how a tiny bit of love and attention would bring out their little personalities and they would flourish. If you are interested in sponsoring a Chinese orphan for foster care, the average cost is $35 or so a month. Some amazing organizations you can work with that I’d recommend are Pearl River Outreach, Love Without Boundaries, and Half The Sky.

Find out how to start an orphan ministry in your church at Hope For Orphans.

If China does not tug on your heart but you still feel you would be an awesome advocate for children, do something for those in your community, church or school.

Zip Up A Smile Project:
This project was successful for me in a Chinese hospital as well as at an American family shelter. Collect gallon sized bags filled with ‘welcome’ items for a child. Toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, brush, small toy, small book and a snack. Punch holes in the top and thread ribbon through. Drop collections at your local shelter.

Zip Up the Warmth Project:
Collect warm coats for underprivileged children in your area or for the local children’s shelter. I coordinated this project for a neighborhood of children and the children were so grateful to receive new coats to wear.

Become a CASA volunteer: The mission of the National Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) Association, together with its state and local members, is to support and promote court-appointed volunteer advocacy for abused and neglected children so that they can thrive in safe, permanent homes.

Not all of us can do something huge, but no act of kindness is too small. Life can be cruel and throw a lot of curve balls at you, but speaking from experience I can tell you that when you focus on the needs of others, your own problems no longer seem so insurmountable. Most importantly, there are children all over the world who need your help. To turn away is to be part of the problem instead of the solution. We can all do something, big or small.

Thank you.

From Julie:
We are soon all heading towards the dining room where we hear music and as I strain to see over the top of heads I see two of the girls who are about 10 or 11 dancing with the Red Cross support group. As the music stops, Katja and I are grabbed and persuaded to sing for the children: we do our rendition of ‘heads, shoulders, knees and toes’ along with the actions and then we join the support group and everyone else with the Chinese Happy New Year to You. It was wonderful, not a dry eye in the house, this is proving to be a very emotional day. No sooner had the music stopped and every one of the children are lining up for lunch. This is a very special lunch and one we can thank you our supporters for, as we, with your help have donated money for this special meal, which we all shared together as one very big happy family. After lunch it was time for MiFan MaMa to give red envelopes to the Mummies and Daddies on your behalf, what better way to let them know we really appreciate all they do on a daily basis for these children.

During all this time there wasn’t much time for game playing or painting with the children but the people from our bus were busy visiting those children that cannot get out of bed, those who stare at four walls and a ceiling all day and never complain. Thanks to King Koil these children are comfy in the mattresses they have especially made for them.

We then had a time of exploring and getting to know the children and where they live; a very precious time. These children have come to accept us as their family as have their Mummies and Daddies. Communication is always a small problem, just a feeling of small frustration on our part but love soon shows us there are no barriers – everyone wants a hug and very soon get it.

Everlasting friendships are forged, just as all from our bus will not forget these wonderful children; the children will never forget them and their love and kindness.

We all pose for photos – everyone wants to capture this very special moment.

The volunteer from the Red Cross tells Katja and myself about a family who are all very severely ill. We agree to supply food for this family as they have no money and their plight has already been shown on Chinese TV. (Roy has already investigated this, so we know there is a real need). We give the Red Cross Volunteer enough money to buy this family rice, flour and oil for 6 months. In addition we are able to give them a bag of rice, flour and a bottle of oil from Lao Wang’s supply. The man from the Red Cross asks that we deliver these items personally on the way home: he assures us it is on our way. So we agree and he joins us on our bus with 3 volunteers for our return journey.

All too soon it is time to say goodbye to everyone and lots of tears are shed on both sides. Although we will be back in one month and these children and everyone here has a place in our hearts it is still so sad. One of the Mummies is hugging me crying and thanking us for all we do. I tell her it is us who thank them as they are the ones who look after these children 24 hours a day, everyday. They are the one who teach these children love and caring by their example, how lucky these children are for although their possessions are few their hearts are bursting with LOVE and CARING and SHARING. We have the privilege to have been a part of this, to have experienced this, even if only for a short time.

Then we get on the bus some passengers are leaning out of the window sharing a last handshake with these wonderful people. Soon we are driving down the road, we wave, and they wave, and soon are just dots in the distance. The bus is silent: we have all had different experiences on this visit, each of us has our own treasured memories to take away until we visit the next time.

We now have the Red Cross volunteer and his helpers on the bus, but on further investigation we find it will take us an extra 5 hours to make this visit to this family. Unfortunately this is not possible, as lots of people on the bus must get to work the next day and even now we will not arrive home until 12.00 midnight. We agree to sort the Red Cross team out another car and further down the highway we stop and there is another car waiting, we all exchange hugs and greetings for this family, and then we part.

1. Be a foster parent
2. Be a respite volunteer for foster parents
3. Sponsor a child to be in foster care overseas
4. Make a monetary donation to an orphan care organization
5. Do a fund-raising drive or volunteer your time for local children’s shelter
6. Adopt!
7. Join CASA
8. Start an orphan care ministry in your church or school
9. Teach YOUR children to reach out to other disadvantaged children in the community or overseas

There are many children out there who need someone to reach out to them or to be their voice. YOU can make a difference!