Only 16 more days until the launch of Silent Tears, Encore edition! Pre-order yours now at Amazon!
SCROLL TO BOTTOM TO SEE WINNERS OF THE GIVEAWAY!
Do you know what’s interesting? The success of my story and the change in my life still has not hit me.
Yes, the first edition has sold thousands. [Which was thousands more than the maybe 5 books I thought would be bought] Yes, I have spoken at churches, book clubs and other events and been told how moving my story is. Yes, my new ‘team’ has booked me for radio interviews and even one upcoming television spot. Yes, googling my name will bring up tons of hits where people are talking about the book. When will I feel that I’ve been a success? Ever?
I doubt it.
On the outside I come across as a professional, put-together woman who knows what she wants and goes after it. But on the inside I am still that same middle-class American mom carrying around all the insecurities I’ve collected through my challenging childhood and traumatizing young adulthood. Let me tell you something–just because through hard work and perseverance (and faith) you have clawed your way up to a better place, that does not take away all of the battle scars you have gathered through the years and continue to gather as you make your way through this drama/comedy/tragedy they call life. I am always afraid that people will see through the confident, joking woman standing in front of them and spot the shaking, insecure girl I once was. I wish that girl would disappear forever and just let me be the new me!
Do you know that despite the urgings of my husband, Ben, I have yet to celebrate any of the milestones I have met with my China journey and subsequent book? Not the operations we were able to fund, not the adoptions we witnessed, not the award from the Chinese city, not the release of the first edition of my book, not the surprising sales and not the contract I signed with my new publisher. Why? I am not sure but I have some ideas.
-The realities of the children I wrote about are really not something to celebrate. (Though many of them have now gone on to live much happier lives, which you’ll get to see updates in the Encore edition)
-My history of always striving to overcome life’s many hurdles have jaded me to be suspicious of anything great in my life, for fear of it being taken away.
-I never want anyone to think that I am cashing in on my experiences, or taking advantage of the children by using their names to further myself.
-I don’t feel like God is done with me yet, that would be like celebrating an A on my math quiz a week before the final term test!
So what do I really hope to accomplish with this book?
-First and foremost it was to fulfill a promise to be the voice of those who cannot speak for themselves. To tell their stories. Because for me, to keep it silent would be to contribute to the neglect and/or abuse I witnessed.
-to raise awareness of the travesties of children in institutional care
-to encourage readers to do something to make a difference. Support an organization, adopt, or sponsor an orphan for foster care.
To be honest, I really don’t feel like my time in China or my book has been enough. Every day and plaguing my dreams I wonder what else I can do, what is next on my horizon. I am continually driven to do more (while juggling life) and when I reach that place of ‘enough’….then–and only then, will I celebrate.
*Winners of the Friday, March 19 Giveaway—please contact me using the ‘Contact’ tab at the top to give me your mailing address. I will send your Advanced Readers Copy of the Encore edition of Silent Tears! Congrats!
Some of you did not link to a blog, etc..and no last name so I used info from your comment:
Winner #1 is Lisa Stott
Winner #2 is Melanie Feick
Winner #3 is Christie from Cherry Blossom Life
Winner #4 is Joan, who volunteered in China
{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }
I will be giving away FOUR copies of the Encore edition of Silent Tears!
All you have to do is…
1. Comment on this post right below me
2. Post the link on your blog or facebook profile
Easy! Get busy….and hey– thank you for reading my words and sharing some of my insecurities…
We also adopted from China. Would love a copy
Hi Kay! I would love to have a copy! We adopted Katelyn from Guatemala in Nov. 2008. There were many days and nights we thought she would never come home. We got caught up in the Hague shutdown and it took us 16 months to bring her home. Now that she is home with us, I can’t imagine her not being here. One of Katelyn’s friends in daycare is adopted from China.
Kay, I hope that you reach that place where you can celebrate your successes! Soon! Just from knowing you online, it is clear that you are a strong, positive woman….with such a compassionate heart. I too had some trauma in my childhood, and insecurities that have resulted and followed me my whole life. The adoption of my daughter from China was a life-changing event for me in SO many ways.
She has trauma issues and anxious attachment – and in seeking to heal my daughter, I discovered so much about myself! I guess I am a late bloomer, lol!
I think this book is a must-read for all parents who have (or plan to) adopted a child from China.
I loaned out my copy and haven;’t received it back – so I would love to win one! And I cannot wait to read the updates about the children in the Encore Edition!
Kay,
As I’ve been reading your blogs, you are being used by God as an inspiration to me and others. Thank you for sharing your stories! May God continue to bless you and your family.
I read your book last Fall, and am heading back for the fourth time this summer to work in a Chinese orphanage. I am encouraging my teammates for this summer to read your book, to better prepare them for the journey. Thanks Kay!
I also think your book is a must-read, especially for families with children who were born in China. On behalf of all of the parents, thanks for writing this book.
Kay- I so loved your book and have recommended it to friends and family. As a mom of two (someday three) children who were adopted from China, I found the book to be life changing. Someday I will read your book with my adult daughters. Thank you for being the voice for so many voiceless.
All our best. I look foreward to your new book. And have linked you to my facebook account.
Kerry
This book is a must read for all adoptive parents of Chinese children to help them understand the perseverance and courage that their children possess and have demonstrated. I also work at an orphanage and could relate to many of the feelings that Kay had and still has although I could never share them as well as she has in her book.
Oh, I can’t wait til your new book is out. I have adopted from China twice and can see in both of my children the trauma of their life there. We have worked so hard towards healing in their little lives. My greatest dream would be to adopt from China again, althought I know it is not possible for me. I can somewhat understand what you mean about celebrating, because although my daughters have come so far, how can I celebrate when I know what isn’t there yet. Congratulations on the encore of your book, and again I can’t wait to read it.
Your Time in China and your book have meant a lot to us! Reading your book really helped us understand where our little “Le Bai” was coming from. Of course, it was comforting knowing that you where there. Congratulations!
Kay, I haven’t adopted but I’ve been to China with my sister and her family during their two adoption trips, and I’ve met many, many adoptive families with whom I stay in contact regularly. I regularly travel to Central America to help the children that live in extreme poverty in Central America, many of whom have been abandoned by their parents and are being raised by older siblings, or extended family.
As to the complete eradication of that scared, insecure inner child of yours, it is doubtful that it will ever happen…. I know. Mine still influences my choices and actions at times. Try listening to the song “The Voice of Truth” when the ‘old tapes’ start playing in your mind. It’s helpful.
Kay, first let me say that you are my inspiration. Many of the things you have accomplished are dreams I hold dear. You have done so much for so many. That being said, I would like to comment on one sentence in particular, although much of what you said could have come out of my mouth (similar insecurities!).
You wrote, “I don’t feel like God is done with me yet, that would be like celebrating an A on my math quiz a week before the final term test!”. One of my favorite author’s and favorite people to quote is Richard Bach. He has written many quotables that I apply to my life now and then. I thought of this one when you wrote about God being done with you or not. Richard wrote: “Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you’re alive, it isn’t. ”
Jo
Next Tuesday, we’re celebrating our 2 year Josie anniversary. You’ve been with us through her 2 surgeries and your story continues to inspire and explain so many of our experiences. I can’t wait to purchase your next book. I’ve given your books to several newly adoptive families. I consider it a MUST read. Congratulations, Kay.
I linked to both my facebook and my blog.
We have an adopted son from China. He was born with a cleft lip and palate. Your book helped us understand the challenges he faced while he was in China and why he does some of things he does. He is a very stubborn little boy. A survivor. Our first copy of your book is worn out by everyone in our family reading it. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into our children’s lives.
Kay,
I can’t wait to read the book! I have 2 daughters adopted from China and I must say that the first time I ever visited the orphanage my life was forever changed. The things I saw while visiting there absolutely broke my heart and still haunts me to this day. I will forever see those precious children that were left behind. I pray for them daily. Adoption has changed my life in many ways and on many levels. I have been so blessed!
Sincerely,
Kim
Hi Kay,
I would love a copy, I left mine in China with my friends who work in the orphanage.
I LOVE Beth Moore and she has a new book you might enjoy
http://www.solonginsecurity.com/
about saying goodbye to insecurity.
As long as their are children in orphanages I don’t think we’ll ever feel like we’ve done “enough”. But then I look at my lovely daughter and think, but at least I’ve done something. You’ve told the truth that few will dare to tell.
Kay, I can’t wait to get your book. It will hurt to read, but I need to see where my daughter came from. Posting on my blog and facebook, too.
I would love to win a copy of your book.
We traveled to China in March 2008 and brought our daughter, Isabella home. Our second Gotcha Day anniversary is March 17th. We would so love a copy of your book and appreciate your advocating for the children of China. Thank you, Kay!!
I would love to have a copy, too! My husband and I are in process for China.
I am so excited for you!!!!! I absolutely will link this up on my blog and facebook! Anything I can do to help I will!!!!
We have tw0 dqaughters, both adopted from China. As I have learned, what they experienced in China will forever touch their lives, as well as ours. Thank you so much for what you are doing!
You’re linked up on my blog!!!!
Kay, you are an inspiration and your work is so important. I think about our trip to China everyday. I will post your blog on mine- would love a copy of your book! All the best to you and your family with the book launch!
Laurie Freeman
MI
I relate to some of what you have written here. While I have not yet read your book (have been wanting to for way too long, but parenting and work related books keep pushing their way ahead) but I am so familiar with it and KNOW the impact that it has made in the adoption community. I admire your courage in your writing and your humilty in your posts.
My blog should be linked to this comment.
Kay,
I brought my daughter home from China in 12/08. I loved your book. It gave me a peek into my daughter’s life in the orphanage and helped our family prepare for our new addition. Thank you for sharing your story!!
Tami
Thanks so much for sharing the stories of children like my wonderful nephew. I do hope you will celebrate, and enjoy, your well-earned successes one day soon.
I have pre-ordered the new edition already, can’t wait to read it!
– “Le Bai’s” Aunt Tracey
Hi Kay!
Its been a while. I’m thrilled to know that the encore edition is just a couple of weeks away from being released. We’re so excited for you. Keep up the good work. We need someone out there letting the world know that as much as we’d love to have each and every child have a fairy tale beginning and ending that it is not always the case. We were lucky, as was our son – Su Le Men, to have had you and the other volunteers enter his life.
Love ya!
Suzanne
Your book is on my list of “to reads.” I would love to win a copy. We adopted our son from China in 2008. He is the joy of our lives and we are going back this year to adopt another baby boy. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Kari
I posted on facebook and my blog, too.
Thanks for all you’re doing for the kids. I know that with what you have witnessed, it will never feel like you’ve done enough. Still, thank you for doing what you have been doing!
I’m linking to this post on my FB right now.
Awesome! Count me in! I will for sure link it from Facebook! YAY!
Hi,
Sounds like you’ve been busy! I love the new cover of the book. The lack of padding below the bars says alot about not having a watchful parent.
BTW: As we’ve done well with the Superbowl win, we’re willing to offer a pledge of $1000.00 for that return trip to China – if and hopefully when you’re ready to go.
I bet there are others who would love to see you go and get a progress report as well.
Jeff & Vicky
It is amazing how the trappings our childhood experiences stay with us throughout our lives. Understanding more of our children’s stories definately helps me appreciate the sighs and the tears, the giggles and the fears – such resilience and strength! Thank you for sharing your story – I can’t wait to read your book!
Hi Kay,
I received an email about popular biographies and memoirs from Amazon. I was immediately drawn to your book. Thanks for your inspiration and gift of sharing. The work you are doing is truly making a difference. I am an 8th grade teacher in one of the poorest inner city school districts in the state of Massachusetts. Our student population is primarily Hispanic but I am always looking for diverse literature to bring into my classroom. Unfortunately, neglect is commonplace for many of my students so they will identify with the children from China and hopefully, they will learn some compassion and empathy. Perhaps they might even be called to action! I would love a copy of your book.
Kay,
Your book helped me so much to get a glimpse into what my adopted daughters life was like before we came to bring her home! Thanks you so much for helping us understand her first few years!
Debby
We have three adopted from China (two boys, one girl) and we are in the process for another boy, 6 yrs old. I would love to have a copy of your book. Check out my blog to see the link back here.
Hi Kay,
I feel blessed to know someone who has put “themselve out there” for the sake of these innocent orphans. You’re so amazing and talented, a wonderful Mother and truly an inspiration to all adoptive parents.
During our wait I wrote to our daughter, day after day and was determined to make sure she knew how much she was loved before we met. Now two years later, this love for her is stronger than anything I’ve known. So strong, one could not convince me I didn’t give birth to her!
After returning from our journey I just felt compelled to go back some day. Only recently did I find out that my husband refuses to accept the notion that a sibling would be good for our only daughter. I’ve been crushed by his decision and struggle daily wondering if she’ll be happy without a sister or brother. As I watch her grow and change daily, I realize that she has made me a better human being and yes, I know she is so happy and loved, but can’t help but thank about “what if she stayed behind’? Who would dry her tears, kiss her goodnight and tell her how much she’s loved? To me she’s the center of my world, but she also represents a million children that don’t have homes. I pray for them and hope your book will enlighten others to the idea that adoption breathes life into those that choose that path.
I can’t wait to get my hands on this book. I also know in time you’ll celebrate the reason you wrote this book, for now it’s emotional and touches issues many choose to not think about. You’re one brave lady and I am a huge fan!
Thanks Kay!
Wow–I’m moved beyond words by all of your comments. Thank you all so much.
Kay,
I don’t know if we ever reach that place of “enough.” I’m a single mom with six children, two adopted from China with cl/cp. You would think that would be “enough.” But, after my China experiences I was haunted by those left behind and threw myself into advocating for orphans everywhere. But, no matter how much I advocate, how much money I help to raise, or how many times I help in the orphanages, it will never be “enough.” I’ve come to a place where I believe that this is the way it’s supposed to be. If we all reached the “enough” place, we might rest on our laurels and then where would these precious children be? Not enough is just as it should be. Keep on spreading the message!
My daughter was adopted from Sichuan in January 2008. I read your original book before going to China. It is going to be a must read again and would love to have the new edition.
We adopted a little boy from China two years ago. Your book gave me insight into what he may have experienced before coming to our home. Thank you for that gift!
I would love another copy of your book. I have the first edition, have pre-ordered the second edition, but it seems this book is always on loan to someone so an extra copy will let me share the story further!
Kay – Thank you for being a voice for the children. I admire your strength and your passion. I look forward to reading the second edition of Silent Tears.
Kay – I admire your strength and your passion for helping the children. I look forward to reading the second edition of Silent Tears.
This book, in its first edition, has been on my To Read list forever. I would love to win a copy to keep as borrowing it from the library would be so unsatisfying. Count me in for sure.
Thank you for going the extra mile for the kids in China. This book holds a special place in my heart because we adopted a child who lived in that orphanage from 2005-2008. You may have helped to make our childs life a little brighter during those years. Bless you and all the other volunteers who give their time and sometimes peace of mind to care for those who are less fortunate.
Mat 25:40 And the King will tell them, `I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
I would like a chance to win! I volunteered a couple summers in China with children who were waiting to be adopted or otherwise unable to be adopted. An learning would be helpful to understand more of the picture.
I would love to win a signed copy of your book for myself.
Thank you so much for submitting our church ministry to your editor for an advanced copy. It arrived today and I can’t wait to start reading it tonight and get it circulating through our ministry. When I submitted our ministry we had not yet come up with a name and now we have. Vineyard Boise now has “Love Justice for Orphans” and I can’t wait to share your book with our church and hope that we can touch/help orphans just as you have. Thanks so much!