Lucy; Chapter Two

Written by Kay on . Posted in A Chinese Perspective;Lucy

lucy3Lucy takes on more questions from readers of Silent Tears:

1. What is the reality for a family that has a cleft palate baby? [Baby born with a hole in its mouth] I am sure I know the answer but would like to know what Lucy’s perspective is. My daughter was kept by her family for about a month. Lucy I know you have a difficult road right now but your son will cherish his life. Only you could give him that.” {Lucy, I think what she is asking is if a couple has a child who is born with a cleft lip or cleft palate, are they able to care for that child? So many children who have this disability are abandoned and later adopted.}

I think most families, if they can afford, are willing to spend time and money on their kids for curing cleft lip or cleft palate. Most abandon cases happened when the parents are not educated and only want sons (this still happens in rural village now). They abandon kids if they have sth like cleft lip or if its a baby girl. Also, another important reason is that, with one-child policy, most parents of course want a good and healthy kid. This is a cruel fact that if they dont abandon their unhealthy ones, they can NOT have the second child.

2. I adopted 2 daughters from china. Ask Lucy why The Birth moms don’t put a Birth date & name for their child on their child? Just wondering, I have heard that some Birth moms do this in china but never personally met them THANK YOU so much! {Lucy, when children are found abandoned, most have no information with them. It would be such a gift for the child to later know their REAL name and REAL birthdates, why do you think most children are found with no identification?}

Ah, this is very easy to explain, according to Chinese laws and regulations, its a crime to abandon kids and parents will go to jail if its proved that they abandoned their kids. Thats why most kids are found without any identification.

3. My daughter is HepB+, was she most likely abandoned because she was female, or could it have had something to do with this? Also, how do the Chinese view children with HepB? I was told it was kind of taboo…..Thanks! {Lucy, she means that many children who have tested positive for Hepatitis B are abandoned. Do you understand why the Chinese are so afraid of this and why they would abandon their children for having it? How are adults and children in China who have HepB treated? Or is it hidden?}

HepB? Ever since the baby was born, the hospital will inject vaccination for HepB and BCG to the baby and give parents a handbook of time schedule for different vaccinations that needed after. Its compulsary and the handbook is needed for kindgarden and schools. One month after birth, my son has received the second vaccination for HepB. However, this only happens in cities. In rural areas, its a bit different as parents dont pay high attention to these stuff.

Your daughter was abandoned mostly because shes a girl. Trust me, only after giving birth to a son, i realised whats the BIG difference between a baby girl and baby boy. People love sons and they think its a such a prime to have a son (even for my parents). Gender is much more important than other things. Anyway in your case, my instinctive is that the parents dont care HepB but most likely abandon her because she is a girl.

Hep B was not a taboo, one of my friends have this and we are still friends. But she didnt tell her boyfriend she had Hep B when they married. Now they had a daughter. Not sure whether it can be transferred to next generation as I heard it can be stopped through some vaccination at pregnancy. But generally, people who have Hep B are hiding it, and if found out, they can not go to school, maybe will lose their jobs as well because its contagious, thats why we are so afraid of it. With Vaccination, i hope there will be less and less stories like this….

4. My daughter was about 6 weeks old when she was abandoned…why would a birth family wait so long before abandoning a child? And how do they then explain the missing child after so much time? Thanks to Lucy for sharing her story and taking our questions!! {Lucy, she means that for us, keeping a child for a few days, weeks, or months would seem to make it impossible to later give them up. Many children were abandoned at the age of weeks or months (sometimes years). Why would a family keep the child that long and THEN later give them up or abandon them?}

Its NOT an easy choice for any family to abandon their kids as we are all humans and maybe have the same feelings for our sons and daughters.To abandon their own kids, it must come from a hard way. Also, its not easy to abandon kids as you have to do it in a way that police will not come and jail you. I dont know how they report and explain the missing child as in China, theres a part of people who can not be controlled by police as they move from one city to another city and this part of people, i believe, are the parents of most abandoned kids

In closing on this chapter from Lucy, I want us all to take even deeper notice of one sentence she writes, as I think many times we cannot fathom abandonment and lose sight of this sentiment: Its NOT an easy choice for any family to abandon their kids as we are all humans and maybe have the same feelings for our sons and daughters. To abandon their own kids, it must come from a hard way.

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Comments (3)

  • Truly Blessed



    I’m just wondering if Lucy could address one more question the next time you talk with her.

    She states several times that most children are abandoned because they are girls – and that makes sense as we understand the cultural preference for boys in light of the One Child Policy. So why would parents abandon an apparently healthy baby boy? Several of my cyber friends have received unexpected referrals of NSN baby boys, and I can’t imagine what they will tell their sons as those children begin to ask questions about why they weren’t kept by their birth families.

    I don’t expect Lucy to have the answer, but any insight she might shed on this would be helpful.




  • Alice


    Thank you for this. Lucy has no idea what a great service she has done for we the ignorant Westerners 😉


  • HK


    I admire Lucy for choosing to raise her baby and striving to be a good Mom. From reading other articles in this series, it sounds like having this boy has meant sacrificing everything, including her dreams and happiness, and it is obvious she is stuck in an unhappy marriage. Very unfortunate. I hope her future improves.

    1. Healthy babies are rarely “abandoned” in China, they are sold. Orphanages or middle-men will pay a villager a minimum of $300. A small fortune in Yuan. Or, babies are taken through coercion and threats.

    2. So far, I cannot find any reference on your site to the rampant corruption and child trafficking surrounding the adoption system in China. I hope you address this issue in your book, or you are doing a grave disservice.

    3. Babies are big business in China, run on a supply and demand system and ripe for abuse. In the past 5 years the demand for babies has tripled, while the supply of healthy “desirable” babies for adoption has drastically dropped. [see extensive published research at] This drop in supply has led to orphanages buying babies to keep ‘in stock’ for the thousands of wealthy Western families eager to fork over steep adoption fees that include a guaranteed $3,000 to the Orphanage.

    4. Kelly, Why more boys lately in the system than ever before? Boys are worth twice as much as girls on the black market. Kidnappings of Chinese children are on the rise, and YES many end up sold into the foreign adoption system. According to a recent ABC investigative report every orphanage interviewed admitted they don’t like to take the boys because they know they are likely kidnapped.

    Please share these facts with your readers. The only way to end corruption is to become informed and Stop Funding The Crime!

    Sources: [add http:// in front]

    1. “China’s Lost Children”:
    2. “The Lie We Love”, award winning investigative report:
    3. Nov. 2009 SBC/BBC Documentary “Kidnapped in China”


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