Lucy; Chapter One

Written by Kay on . Posted in A Chinese Perspective;Lucy

Lucy is my friend who I knew while in China and she has just recently had a son. Because she knows my passion to learn about the culture of China and the issues of abandonment, etc., she has agreed to be interviewed by me. She has also agreed to answer any questions YOU may have! Post them as comments and I’ll email them to her. Her answers are not changed in any way, she has very good English and has worked as a translator/tutor to the foreigners, which is how I met her. Not only is she very intelligent, but she has a big heart and is a great friend.

1. What is your son’s name?
Pei Yuan

2. When was he born?
Born in Sep, 2009.

3. Are you married? How old are you?
From legal way, yes, married. Ritually no. Registered married because in China, if you are not married, your baby is not allowed to be registered, which means he/she can NOT go to kindgarden, school…Of course, there are certain babies who are not registered here. Still, marriage is a VERY Hard choice for me.Im 25 years old now.

4. If you are not married, was it a hard choice to have your son? Did you ever consider abortion or abandoning him?
I had the baby before marriage(shame), and decided to keep the baby. Yes it was a very HARD choice. My family was very disappointed and asked me to take abortion. However, from the high education i received, im a pro-life and think abortion is the same as murder (Heheh;-)). So naturally me and my boyfriend registered marriage on 18th, July, 2009 and baby was born 2 months after.

5. How will you take care of him? Will he stay with an ayi?
My mother comes to Shanghai and take care of us now. Ayi is popular here to new mothers whose parents cant stay with them. I feel very lucky that my mother is here and look after me and my son physically and spiritually.

6. Will you work?
Yes. I was still working even on the day before the birth of my son, and go to work again after one month. I am supposed to have 4.5 months maternity leave but go to work so early because my job is too busy.

7. What is your plan to provide for him and his future?
He will be brought up as a normal Chinese, heheh. I will try my best to provide the best education for him.

8. Being a young pregnant woman, did you feel disappointment from elders in your life?
VERY MUCH and i felt guilty to my parents even now. They had very high expectation on my marriage and it turned out to be a mess at all. I dont know how to make it up to them. Now my son is 40 days and hes cuter and cuter. Looking at him, all the pain and tears i had are worthwhile.

Stay tuned for more chapters on Lucy and how she is dealing with life as a young mother in China.

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Comments (2)

  • Marie Carmenati

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    Thank you for sharing your story, Lucy. Your son is a beautiful baby!! You have done a brave thing in registering your marriage and keeping your little boy. I am sure he will bring you every happiness in the world.

    Reply

  • Taylor Williams

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    Thanks for sharing Lucy and Kay. Lucy you baby boy is beautiful.

    Reply

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